Licorice, our 12 year old German Shepherd, passed away on Christmas Eve.
I had been talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago about life and living, and at some point in our conversation, he made the comment that he was now very happy and content because he is no longer afraid of dying. He’s in his sixties. And he’s totally at peace with the possibility that he could go at anytime.
Licorice’s passing made me realize that I am not yet OK with dying. I still fear it, I don’t want to talk about it, I don’t even want to think about it. I want to believe that it is a very long way off.
My wife and I were talking again yesterday morning (Christmas morning) about Licorice, and I was able to go a little deeper into how this was making me feel. I came to realize it’s not that I fear death so much as I fear not living life fully, each day, while I’m still here.
And that’s one of the greatest things about our dogs, our beloved pets, our buddies – they teach us unconditional love, and joy, and acceptance, by modeling it every day. No matter what is going on, no matter whether they’re in pain or not, no matter even whether we show up for them or not, they’re always there for us. They live every day like it’s a brand new day, and they don’t hold onto anything.
I am having a hard time feeling right now. Or maybe what I’m having a hard time with is understanding what my feelings are. I’ve got so many of them.
I do know, though, that I am very grateful that God brought Licorice to our family. And I am grateful that God brought Licorice back home on Christmas Eve.
Blessings,
Todd
4 Comments
Write a Comment»I’m so sorry to hear about Licorice. It’ll take awhile before you understand the complexity of the feelings. For now, just allow them to “be”.
It is sad that Licorice left you. Just think, though—he woke up in Heaven on Christmas Morning. Kind of a miraculous place to be on that very important day.
Hi Jeanne,
Thank you for your thoughts. I am finding that each day gets a little easier, but I do still have an emptiness inside. I really like what you said about her waking up in heaven on Christmas morning. That feels good to know that.
Blessings to you,
Todd
Todd,
First I offer my condolences. My family includes two indoor miniature schnauzers and one big old ‘heinz 57′ yard dog. I feel your pain of loss.
I also greatly appreciate your insight in allowing this event to help you investigate your feelings about death and dying. As I have just embraced the ripe age of 53, I consider my own mortality. And you make a great point. I’m not afraid as much as I simply don’t want to go. I want to live more and be more and give more and love more. I guess that means I need to get busy.
Thank you for giving me a space to consider my own feelings. Be blessed, Todd. You deserve it, because you are certainly a blessing to me and many, many others.
Buz
Thank you Buz, for your kind and loving thoughts about Licorice, for your friendship, and for all the wonderful good that you do.
Blessings,
Todd